Saturday, November 6, 2010

Breakup: Day2 (5:26 PM)

If you ever read this thing, it will help you to make a decision.

Right now, everything in my home reminds me of you. The small things we did together, the cooking, the movies, everything. Each and every small thing that has any connection with you is making it really hard for me. I've decided to put everything that reminds me of you in a box and put it away somewhere safe. I wish I could find a box big enough to contain me and my life!
As you realize that we are not together now, you will begin to feel the way I am feeling right now. You will miss me, my voice and my touch. It is natural to miss someone you spent a lot of time with. This feeling of missing me is not really love, you will discover. I became your habit that is hard to kick for you! It is like that fag which is so difficult to let go.
When you miss me, don't take a hasty decision and reach out to me saying that you love me, because I will believe you when you say that and it won't be true. Let your life turn normal again, let your friends and family take priority again, let your heart seek out love again and then if you think of me and have any love for us, give me a call.
It is very important for you to understand that getting back together only because you can't live without me for now is stupid. Come back to me when you think you want to live with me and no one else. Come back when you love me so much that it would not matter to you if I said NO!
Come back to me when you are sure that you want me back in all the ugliness.
The next few days, weeks or even months are going to be hard. But, life is much longer than months and if you didn't really love me, you will survive this period and be able to find someone else. Even if you don't find anyone else, you will still be happy with your decision.
I read somewhere a long time back that if you are not brave just pretend that you are and no one will know the difference. I have lived by that principle. When I have wanted to cry I have held back my tears, when I have been threated I have retaliated back, when I have lost love I have told everyone that I'm better than that. Try to be brave for sometime and you will be OK.
I wish I could say that you will find better guys but I know you will not find another me whatever that means. And I will never be able to find another you again. Our lives without each other can be happy or sad or fulfilling or empty or happening or dark or famous but it would never be what it could have been with each other in our arms. That is not necessarily a bad thing, there is only one way to find out how our lives will be together - by living it. But, we have just one life and we can have just one single chance with it.
Think of it in this way. What would happen 50 years later?
If we are together and you regret every moment spent with me for those 50 years, it would be impossible for me to give you back your life. But, if we are not together and you realize after 50 years that all you ever wanted was me, I would come back to you to give you love for all the rest of our years together. We have just one life after all and there can be just a single end to it.

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